Divorce Ceremonies Defined
What is a Divorce Ceremony?
A divorce ceremony offers couples a chance to rewrite the script on divorce. The focus in a divorce ceremony is on healing and positive growth, away from the pain, shame and anger that is traditionally associated with the process of moving on from a marriage that is no longer working. A divorce ceremony allows couples to move forward toward a solid, healthy future, creating closure and garnering support and understanding from their family and friends, instead of division and confusion.
Each ceremony is tailored to fit your unique community and relationship. That being said, all ceremonies have a basic structure.
What are the key elements of a Divorce Ceremony?
Symbolism
setting the stage
Opening Ceremony
The couple or individual may choose a symbol or one can be provided. Generally, at the beginning of the ceremony, the symbolic element is broken or cut in two by the officiant. Then as each person speaks, they ‘mend the element, using their words of compassion and appreciation to put it back together.
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Acknowledgement
saying your peace
Real Talk
It is up to the participants, but many people feel the need to acknowledge a general regret. In marriage you get to know one another well, and perhaps yourself even better. Many people feel the need to express their apologies for not being the person they thought they could be, or the person their partner needed in the relationship.
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Honoring
Leaving with love
Putting Your Best Foot Forward
While time may change a relationship, people seldom change dramatically. While a relationship may have ended, it is important to honor one another’s strengths. The person you fell in love is still inside the person you are letting go of. In a divorce ceremony, it’s important to acknowledge the things you love about one another.
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Closure
holding the space
Strength in Community
Just like a wedding ceremony, a divorce ceremony is designed to forge a strong base among family and community moving forward.
Your children and all of the family and friends you’ve met through your relationship are invited to participate. Each community member says something positive that they learned or love about you and your partner and a wish for the future that lies ahead.
After each person speaks, they contribute to rebuilding by mending the symbolic element, a reflection of their support.
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